beLIEve

Everybody lies.

And that's the truth. To get away with something as a kid, you lie to your parents. To get excused from the upcoming exams, you can lie to your professor. To stay out all and to go gallivanting, do drugs, to get drunk, get laid, or whatever your poison is, you lie. It is Machiavellian to lie in order to attain something, but will it not defeat this Machiavellianism if you lie for the greater good? I've been in a couple of "relationships" filled with lies, vile lies, and more lies, but somehow those relationships worked until I acknowledged and criticized their foundations. Shouldn't relationships be based on the truth instead of these lies?

On trusting

No, I do not trust people at all that much. I trust them with the trivial things like leaving the beer on the table without them putting chili sauce on it, but not with the big things like getting this medicine for my heart problem or some shit like that. Sometimes these trust issues arise due to our differentiating values, conflicts of interest, and some factors that constitute that person's personality. People's self-interest make them hesitate to do something for somebody, even to someone really close. I believe that if I trust this person enough to give him/her something of importance he/she would only disappoint me in the end. People are so disappointing. Well, that's why I don't expect much from them either.

So please, you cunts, enough with the damn charade and show your true colors. Shed the fucking donned sheepskin garb.

Lend me your ears

Thought about a lot last night. I tried rationalizing as to why I seldom depend on my friends for something. Little pep talks about overcoming melancholic depression, and shit like that. It seems as if whenever I talk, nobody listens. I mean they really don't, they just sympathize and say "oh yeah, I feel bad for you. (insert sad face here)" Maybe that's the reason why. As for me, I try my best to listen and put myself in people's shoes, but why can't somebody... anybody listen to what I have to say? Hmm, seems unfair, doesn't it? This is why I always remind myself one Law of Power: Never put too much trust in friends, learn to use enemies. Yeah, you might say that that is oh so Machiavellian but it all depends on perception, really. Maybe I just want somebody who listens.

Emo bitch... zzz

Now that I've established that, I want to hear from you people. Whoever's reading this ADD A COMMENT! =p

Happy birthday, Rose-girl

Sometimes I drink more than I need

Yeah, I do that a lot lately. I somehow feel satisfied and relieved in being intoxicated. Every waking moment my mind starts to work as to how I will solve my current dilemmas, from the wee ones to the damn huge ones. The alcohol makes me forget them for a while, makes my mind rest. And thanks to alcohol I can sleep early. Felt awful today, I slept at around 6AM and woke up at 10AM and I was drunk the night before. Yeesh, talk about a damn headache.

Happy day

Fortunately, my little nephew, Pao and his mom went to visit from Bicol, took the plane. And oh, Rose-girl. I bought her this cute card that I saw on my way back from the mall. Yeah, getting my ass up from the bed was a tad hard; sure glad I didn't spend all day cooped up in my room. Paopao and Rose-girl definitely made my day. I'm amused at how things work out sometimes.

Your curiosity will be the death of you

We met like 3-4 years ago, in Malate. Yeah, I admit it,was attracted to her. She was like cute and aw, very intelligent (top 3 in the board exams), quirky, and the quality that made her "comfortable" around people, that made me smile. We weren't going out or anything and we didn't have the chance to, really. I was still a bit busy in testing some things. She, on the other hand was tied up with her studies. I had this one chance to have dinner with her but certain people (KATHLEEN, my sister) fucked up that opportunity of a lifetime by forcing me to go home to our house in Paranaque, else she'll leave my sorry little ass here in Malate. That made a bad impression, I think. We never talked about it ever since. Then, after a few days, dunno what came to her(if it really was her), she gave me a rose through a common friend; I don't know if it was really for me or if my friend was just messing with me, but what if it was the former? I wanna know what her motives were. I need to know, I just have to know. Hmm, what if eh?

Oh yeah, happy birthday! Looking forward to seeing you next week!